Reflections

2012 presents itself as a turning point.  I have walked here for a total of 40 years now.  I have learned so much on this journey.  I have learned that no matter how much you know, you will never be prepared for everything life throws at you.

I am starting this writing on the 6th, which represents my day of birth.  I had over 65 people on Facebook make a birthday comment.  That warms the heart.  I realize that Facebook makes this easy to do, but it still requires the decision on the user’s part.  “Do I bother?  I really don’t know him that well.”  And they clicked that link anyway.  Several were family, but many were not.  Friends gathered from my many years on the internet.  Friends from being close fans of False Hope, friends from Everchangingart.com, friends from DeviantArt.com, friends from Squidoo, some were my recent writer friends even.  Many were old friends from high school and churches that I have attended.

I take a deep breath and struggle to make this the year that my life-long career of being a flooring installer will become the side line, as it was always supposed to have been.  I struggle to maintain a 500+ word count on which ever book I am considering the work in progress.  I am so close to making a decent product from my first installment of the Maraude series.

I always tend to be a symbolic type of person.  I blame my kinesthetic learning patterns.  And this year will be one of reflection.  All of my symbols through out my entire life will be shared with my protagonist Rich Sabre as he struggles through life in the Maraude series.  You might call him my alter ego, though many of my characters are parts of myself.

And as I think of the ways I have represented Rich in previous incarnations of the Maraude series, I have left one thing out of his life, that is the tantamount thing that keeps me going.  Family and friends.  Where in this world would I be without my wife and kids, my parents, my three grand parents, my cousins, my in-laws?

As entrenched as my mind becomes sometimes, I am sure to have become a suicide statistic without any one of them.  Especially my kids.

My daughter even made the comment on Facebook that she thinks sometimes that I am younger than she is.  She will be 20 this year.  Okay, well she will have her 5th birthday this year, but that’s another story.

This may sound like a post that I should have done a few months ago for Thanksgiving, but it isn’t.  I am thankful for my two kids, so much more than most people realize.  they had every opportunity to throw me away, and they took me back.  It kills me every time I think about that.

That time in my life is still something that I struggle with, but my family was there.  I still routinely tear myself apart for what happened.  I really don’t trust anyone to be able to handle it very well unless they have had the training to cope with it, or were there WTSHTF.

Most think I should have moved on.  It has been almost 15 years ago since I made my ‘little’ mistake.  But I am reminded of it daily.  But I am reminded that everything deserves a second chance.

I used to ride my bicycle down to the slag pile in Clarkdale, Arizona.  This was over 30 years ago.  I didn’t do it very many times, but I remember looking up at that old smelter smoke stack that had been dead for 40 years before I was born.  It has been torn down since I moved from there and grew up.  But I found out recently that the old smelter grounds might be a way to improve the economy of the Verde Valley again.  They might have found a way to extract gold and possibly silver from the old copper mine slag.

If an old black pile of iron ore the size of four aircraft carriers can find a new life, so can I!

I have so much more, but I’m going to start cutting my 1000 words back these days.  By the way take a look at the #WIP500 page or follow the hashtag on twitter to see what me and the guys are doing to raise our writing accountability to the point that we are writing 500+ words everyday.

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About sirkeystone

This dude lives and slaves in the Siloam Springs Arkansas area, where his day job is a flooring installer. For now. An author, artist, guitar repair guy, and loves to play with cars. Not just HotWheels either. Guitar, Bass, and vocals for local False Hope band, an Indie/Country/Rock band that used to be a classic rock cover band.

Posted on January 7, 2012, in To Ponder and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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